Sunday 28 December 2014

Toys


Some boys like to play with trucks
Other boys like dolls
Some boys practice rugby rucks
Others, gymnastic flicks and rolls,
All that could be said of girls,
Some like their hair short, others in curls
A toy’s a toy, a plaything, a tool,
A thing that they learn with, at home or in school.
One child wears jeans and a t-shirt,
Another, a blouse and skirt,
Whether girl or boy, it doesn’t really matter
Help the child feel good, whether thin, or fatter.
“Your gender-blender agenda,” I hear you declaim,
“It’ll bring us all down! it’s such a shame!”
I don’t know this agenda of which you speak,
What I know is, God made us all unique.
Now let me tell you that’s not my game,
I don’t want all children to be the same.
Boxing or Ballet,
That should be A-okay,
Doesn't matter what people say,
They don't make you lesbian, bi, straight or gay.
Many achievements towards which children aspire,
Whoever they are, let them do as they desire.
Some people take toys out of boxes, then
They put their children in,
Nicely labeled, each one to define
Girl aged six, boy aged nine.
Toys can fire a child’s imagination,
Help them discover, they’re a special creation.
© J. Fairlamb 28-12-14.

Monday 22 December 2014

Lady Bishops

Wrote the original version on Sunday. This is a hopefully improved edition:

In the C of E
Now a lady, a bishop can be,
For many years this has been a source of much debate,
But now it's been accomplished, was it worth the wait?

Now we can follow our vocation
Without barrier or equivocation
To pursue the Spirit's flow
Whether woman or fellow

That said, the talking is not at an end,

Some see this as a dangerous trend
For them, the notion of women's leadership —
Nothing but an ego-trip.

As for me, I think it's good
Things are moving forward as they should,
An evolving Church in an evolving world,
Helping the flag of faith to be unfurled

Time for Christians to get real
Helping the poor find their next meal
Not wagging fingers — don't do this or that
But meeting people "where they're at"

All through life there are issues
About which a side we choose
Jesus calls us to love God and one another
Treating everyone as sister or brother.



Thursday 13 November 2014

Silence. Noise. Sound.

Silence

Is there really such a thing as                             silence?
It depends on what you mean by                       silence.
A complete absence of sound? Impossible     silence!
Being quiet, not talking. Realisable                    silence!


Noise
Sharp! Painful!
Rock-concert - throbbing loudspeakers
Bellowing out the BOOM, BOOM, BOOM of the base drum and
Ear-splitting screeches of the electric guitar and
Vocalists’ vicious incomprehensible vocals.

Fields of war! Sonic boom as the fighter jets break the sound barrier.
BANG, BANG, BANG as bombs land and devastate
Ratatatat of gunfire, from semi-automatic weapons.
Screams of pain, fear and grief.
Harsh shouts of combatant commanders barking out orders.

A busy city. Constant rumble and moan of industry and transportation.
Shouts of sirens, blasts of hooters and the BEEP, BEEP, BEEP of reversing HGV’s
Ring tones and pings of busy smartphones.
YAK, YAK, YAK of one-sided conversation
Talk on the radio, Talk on the TV.
Words by the million, but not much listening
Having much to say but not actually saying much.

Inside my head!
like a hectic cityscape,
Worries blaring out like an abandoned car-alarm.

Sound
The gentle trickle of water as the brook flows over stones and between the bulrushes.
The occasional plop plop of a trout surfacing to catch a flying insect, or
Dabchick dipping beneath to catch a minnow and the
Rustle of a squirrel hopping in the high grass.

The whoosh and whistle of the wind bending boughs and branches in the forest and on the farms.
The percussion and pitter-patter of raindrops colliding with the ground and with the water.
The crash and bang of thunder as flashes of lightening brighten the horizon.

The cry and squawk of the cheeky seagulls circling and searching for scraps on the sand.
The splish-splash of waves landing on the stoney shoreline, one after the other.
The squeals of delight from children as their toes touch the cool sea water.

Inside my head!
The tuneful lullaby that relaxes,
A calm assurance that God is in control and He loves me.




Monday 3 November 2014

Open letter to Mr Rio Ferdinand concerning the "PARTICIPATION MESSAGE"

Dear Mr Ferdinand,
I watched you in your interview with Jonathan Ross on October 25th. You said something that I felt could not go unchallenged.

You said that you were irritated when you hear teachers say, "It is not winning but participation that's important" or words to that effect, and said that winning is the important thing.

I do not deny that teachers, at least many good teachers do say that participation is the primary thing, and I would like to set out the reasons why, in my opinion, this is the right thing to say.

To begin with let me say that the "Participation Message" is not about an excuse to slack off and not try one's best . This was how you represented the Participation Message on the show but that is simply not the case.

We need to firstly put the Participation Message in its proper context. I would be very surprised if the captain or manager of a professional team were to say to the players "The important thing is that you participate and the final score is not that important." Indeed, your careers stand or fall by those statistics. That is the world of professional sportsperson.

However, the context where the Participation Message is appropriate IS SCHOOL and growing people, not only academically, but physically and emotionally and socially.

I would say that the Participation Message is not only appropriate but it is essential.

It is a motivational message. It speaks of valuing every individual no matter who they are, and believing that every individual can achieve and develop. When it comes to physical education, we actually want every student, whether they're potential Premier League material or not, to associate sport and exercise with fun and maybe something worth keeping up into their adulthood.

The Participation Message says that even if you know that this sport or activity is not your forté, and others will beat you, you can still enter into it with a determination to do your very best and that when you have finished, even when the scoreline goes against you, you can still be proud of the effort you put in. This not only benefits those individuals may be overwhelmed by the opposition but it benefits the strong too as if those who felt overwhelmed thought, "what's the point, we are going to lose anyway" they may be present on the field but they won't be playing their best as the scoreline is a foregone conclusion. Therefore they won't present a challenge and the winners will come away with a hollow victory.

The Participation Message says recognise the strengths of others as well as your own and play to your strengths and let others play to theirs - that is team work.

The Participation Message says that defeat, losing, failure are an unavoidable part of life - we shall all experience failure at some point - BUT that does not make you a failure.

If you, as a child, are learning to ride a bike, you are bound to have a few spills as you get used to coordinating to balance and propel yourself forward. When you fall off the bike, stand up and get back on. Winning takes perseverance and willingness to keep trying after we've "failed".

The Participation Message says we all rely on one another to progress and achieve. This is very clearly seen in team sport. An individual can never succeed against a team. A football team needs strikers and goalkeepers. And within any team you are going to have those who are more and less competent.  Football teams also have reserve players ready and at the peak of fitness to go in if one of the regular players is injured. Do we say that the reserve player is a loser because she wasn't selected as an on-field player? Was she "not participating" because she wasn't playing? She might have felt that way, but if she showed up, she deserves the accolades along with other players. Now if truth be told, at a school level, especially in the primary years, participation is so important, that coaches do field players, who would not normally make the selection purely on a basis of ability. Again, this is because a teacher has to bear in mind MUCH more than the ultimate scoreline. For a child to feel INCLUDED is a very big deal. You ask any boy or girl who hears another child say "I'm not your friend any more" or " Go away, I'm not playing with you." As adults we may forget how deeply hurtful that was when it happened to us. For children, participation is important.

To quote Rudyard Kipling's famous poem "If" : "If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same"

Winning is fun, and every child should taste a victory, even if it's a personal victory, from time to time. Winning is itself motivational.

However we should not try and sugarcoat the difficult experience of losing. We must not deprive a young person of the experience of losing just because you don't want them to feel sad because that experience is itself a learning experience, and ironically may prove motivational to some.

So as Rudyard Kipling says: We meet with TRIUMPH and DISASTER. (losing can be perceived as disaster).

Winning can be a false friend, as the one who wins may become complacent and perhaps overconfident and if the winning is an illusion created by well meaning adults who want a child to feel happy, then when the illusion is exposed as it often is,  the child's confidence and trust of the child is destroyed. In that sense, Triumph can be an imposter.

If momentary victory can lead to delusions of grandeur, so too momentary failure can lead to delusions of worthlessness.  Every victory and every loss is momentary.

It's nice to win at something, and we all like it when our team wins the cup, and we celebrated every Gold, Silver and Bronze medal won at the Olympics but let's be honest, if you're a sportsperson representing your country at international competition, you are already a winner, even if "on the day" you are not the winner.

A delusion of worthlessness is the FALSE BELIEF that you are worthless. It's bad enough when people accuse one another of being worthless but we believe that about ourselves it's life-sapping. In fact the delusion of worthlessness is a symptom of depression.

And it IS dangerous.

The Participation Message says to the individual child: You are VALUED. If I feel valued by others, it will make it less likely that I'll feel worthless.

Teachers are dealing with a variety of children with diverse needs and abilities. Among them will be some who have a limited life expectancy; quite a number have conditions such as Down Syndrome, cerebral palsy and autistic spectrum conditions and some may have sensory impairments.  When you see children such as these and even those without these challenges participating in a group activity, whether it's football or a school play, you can see the value of participation. How much it means to them that they're included.

A teacher has to be able to say to your eight year-old son, the same thing as they would say to any of his or her students and that is that participating is important.

Finally, but by no means least, the Participation Message is about HOW WE PARTICIPATE. We learn that we need to respect other participants and facilitators or in football terms other players and officials and to participate fairly, that is within the rules of the game. In short we need to be "good sports"

So, daft as it may sound to your pro-footballer ears, "It's not winning but participation that's important." Is an important message to give young people.

Yours sincerely,

John Fairlamb

Thursday 9 October 2014

Sunday Afternoon

I took a wander on my Honda
On a Sunday afternoon.
Headed North to High Beach
Of London, in easy reach.
Behold there in the Epping wood,
Is a small tea-hut stood.

Kawasaki, Suzuki, BMW,
Triumph, Moto-Guzzi, MZ
Bikes both old and new.
And amongst these stand their owners, proud.
Gathered there, quite a crowd.
To pass the time of day.

Saturday 13 September 2014

Bullying - what do we tell the children.

A few days ago, a friend on Facebook started a discussion in which she shared how she was dealing with her two 7 year-olds being bullied at school. She went to the school that is in Africa wearing this:

Well there were many comments that followed including one which I have heard before that, in effect says, tell the boys, or whoever the victim is to hit the bully and that will solve the problem. I responded at length as to why we definitely should not be encouraging a tit-for-tat response - here it is: (It was spread over a number of comments in the thread.

Yours is not an uncommon response to the problem of bullying . In fact I once heard a pastor give exactly this advice from the pulpit but I want to provide reasons why it is not advisable for an adult to advocate violent retaliation to a child. 

Reason 1 is practical: while children may find that hitting their bully has the desired effect, if the victim lacks the necessary strength to deliver a sufficiently strong punch , it may serve only to provoke the bully to violence (if the previous bullying was more verbal and emotional). or more violent if it had been physical. That hornets' nest of violence might be sufficient to put the children in hospital.

Reason 2 Not every victim of bullying is physically able to "hit back" and the inability to hit-back especially if the adult they have turned to for help has given this advice, is to live in a state of unannounced terror and loneliness and may make them more compliant with the bully or may result in the child committing suicide. or bullying themselves - i.e. self-harm.

Reason 3: A bully in my view is a childish version of abuse. Our advice to children if they are being abused is to TELL AN ADULT and that the adult has the responsibility to do something about it. The same should be true for bullying. How it is dealt with is different to dealing with an adult abusing a child but it is not the child or vulnerable person's responsibility to stop it happening.

Reason 4 : Let us assume that the advice is given and applied and with some measure of success. The victim hits his or her tormentor and so shocks them that the billing ceases immediately. What does the ex-victim take away from this experience? That when I am being given a hard time I must respond with violence. If they take that attitude into adulthood they will become violent individuals who will never learn to respond to conflict appropriately and could land up in court, like Oscar Pistorius, because they were taught from a young age to deal with threats themselves and not seek assistance. They may become domestic violence abusers, or even killers.

Reason 5: Hitting back is not how Christ has taught us to respond to persecution which is what bullying is. Jesus said if someone slaps you on the left cheek offer to them the right cheek too. I do not believe that Jesus is advocating accepting bullying but he most definitely is saying not to strike back. He said we should love our enemies and pray for our persecutors. I think that prayer is a POWERFUL weapon. Let's teach our children to wield the weapons of the word of God and prayer. These are two elements of the Christian soldier's spiritual armour: prayer and the Word. The servant of Elisha feared the enemy forces until he saw the BIGGER army of Angels that surrounded them. So we should pray and ask God to protect us and to help the bully so that they stop hurting other children. God loves that child and wants that child to have REAL friends not people who say they are friends because they fear the.bully.

Reason 6: I wear my "teacher hat". A child who bullies others - let's not label them , 'bully' is doing so to try and resolve an emotional need in themselves and it is the teacher's role to determine the need and equip the child on how to meet that need appropriately. A children who acting out violently towards others may themselves be a victims of violent abuse in their own homes. Threatening to hit such children if they continue to bully or actually hitting the child normalised the violent abuse they are receiving perhaps from a drunk parent. The bullying May be a cry for help.from a terrified child.

I realise reading the above that people may think that bullying is a childhood issue, and that it is one child bullying another - I am sorry to say that there are adult bullies too, and victims do not need to be children either, though sometimes adults bully children. We generally refer to this bullying as ABUSE. I also want to point out that bullies do not necessarily use physical violence to control and manipulate their victim. 

I shall return to this but have to go and get my laundry.


Thursday 14 August 2014

Pack up your troubles in your old kit bag and smile, smile, smile.



Pack up your troubles in your old kit bag and smile smile smile
While you've a lucifer to light your fag, smile boys that's the style,
What's the use of worrying, it never was worthwhile, so...
Pack up your troubles in your old kit bag and smile, smile smile.

100 years since the outbreak of World War 1 and songs that were about this war or made famous by this war, are getting a lot of airplay. I watched a delightful rendition of it on BBC1 just the other day, but what, exactly is this song saying, and is this a healthy message in a time when we know that many people are struggling with depression, and in the shadow of news that a man who used to do a lot of smiling, and made us smile too, Robin Williams, could not face it any longer, and took his life?

Stuffing your troubles into an "old kit bag" - meant that you did not really deal with them and - if you don't deal with them, then they will always weigh you down. 

SMILING is all very well, and it occurs to me, I may be wrong, but if your heart is not smiling, it takes a conscious effort, and some energy to let a smile appear on your face. If however, your heart is smiling, then you will find that that smile just appears automatically. We live, it would seem in a culture in the West, at least in the English speaking world, that really has a hard time with public expressions of sadness like crying or wailing. "Boys don't cry!" - that's what we are told. So to display genuine emotion is regarded as the antithesis of masculinity, and in a culture such as ours, not being masculine is a huge problem for a boy or a man. So if I can't be real about those those emotions what do I do instead?

Well the song says it, "While you've a lucifer (a match struck on any rough surface - carries light) to light your fag, smile boys, that's the style." 
Smoking is a way that lots of people deal with stressful situations - and war is stressful - but so are a lot of other things. Other people use alcohol, and others various kinds of drugs. 
Robin knew this and yet it was the booze and drugs that were his undoing. "Dutch courage" is a euphemistic way of saying 'drinking to build up courage to do the thing you would not do if you were sober.' - whether that thing needs doing or not is another question, but some people need, or feel they need 'dutch courage' just to face life. 

Of course booze and drugs are the obvious intoxicants but some people consume copious mounts of food, usually of the wrong kind, and they call it "comfort eating". Other addictions, that are not necessarily about what one consumes, but what one does, usually in a solitary way, a closely guarded secret is how some people cope with that "troublesome kit bag." Self-harm is becoming widespread problem. 

Ultimately when the kit bag is full to bursting with all those troubles, and the face is exhausted from all that smiling,some people decide that they have reached the end of their road and they give up - and they decide to end it all. 

I know that there are many who feel let down by Robin Williams, some may even be angry. I have heard this word bandied about in reference to Robin's suicide - selfish.

Was Robin Williams being selfish - you can insert names of many people, both famous and not, who have committed suicide? 
In one sense, Depression which in my opinion, and from what I gather the opinion of most people who know about this, is the gateway illness that leads to suicide, is a selfish disease. It draws the sufferer into himself or herself. It is as if, they are aware of the rest of the world, but there is a numbness in that area, and all the focus is on oneself and in particular in one's own predicament, which will vary from person to person. Depression, draws a person in on themselves, and thus the thoughts and feelings of others, even those nearest and dearest to them, become distant, and thus at its worst ebb, the sufferer simply wants to end the pain, and if they see no way to do this, they decide that they must end their lives. In this sense, I believe it might be true to say that suicide is selfish. But selfishness is also really about getting as much of something for yourself and refusing to share. In that sense suicide is not selfish.

I think that in order to accuse someone of being selfish, you need to understand what it was that brought that person to the brink. Though as I have said, depression is always there where suicide is being thought of, usually the person will express some other reason, not depression, for killing themselves. They may have left a letter to loved ones, trying to explain why they did it, or they may leave no note, and understanding the stigma attached to suicide, try to make the death look accidental, but they would have had some motivation, some reason why they believed that this was the only way out:

One BIG reason is SHAME. A person is deeply ashamed of some action or thing they have done. The thing they are ashamed of may amount to a shocking crime, or it might be that the person has built the matter up in their own mind to be a lot bigger than it really was. For some it is the shame of having committed a heinous crime which they know will be exposed to the public, and that they will likely face a lot of jail time, or it might be the shame of having not done as well in one's exam as one would have hoped. Today is the day that the A-level students get their results and there will be those who have failed or simply not got enough good grades to get into university. Many people especially young people commit suicide because they realise that they are gay or transgendered and they know or believe that they will be rejected by loved ones, or lose their job. Some do this because their environment has sent them the message that who they are is unacceptable to society (which is not, or should not be the case. 

I think HOPELESSNESS sometimes leads to suicide, as one feels that nothing can be done to fix or resolve a problem - like spiralling debt that has got out of control. The hopelessness of a patient with a terminal and painful disease, and it is often this category of sufferer who lobbies for the right to "assisted dying" like those who have gone to Dignitas where this is legal. It is people in this category that give me the most difficulty in terms of whether I am in favour of the "right to die". You see, from the Christian perspective, and perhaps other religions too, it is only God's prerogative to end life and a person should not do anything that would/could end it prematurely. I would always urge the person to keep going, and not give-up on God. But I acknowledge that not all people, and even if they are, they just feel that trying to cope is just too much. 

Maybe in some way linked to the previous two issues, is the sense that they ONLY represent a burden to others and genuinely believe that they are "A BURDEN" - This is one of the reasons why those who oppose assisted dying are against it. The old person may genuinely believe that they are more trouble (expense) that they a worth (beneficial), and so will opt for suicide so hat they stop being that burden. The same may be of disabled people.

Some may have been advised of a serious DIAGNOSIS, again, this may be linked to shame or hopelessness, or both, but they basically cannot imagine coping with the effects of the illness.

Whatever it is, I think, and I want this blog to be a positive message, even though the subject matter is somber, we need to help people find their own smile, not one that they plaster on their face, to hide the fact that they are suffering, but that genuine happy place that can be within the reach of everyone. What is it that can make us smile again. 

Joy

Had I been born a girl, my mother informed me, that I would have been named Joy. Joy is an inward quality that, in my understanding, emanates from a place of well-being, contentment, and security. If we have those three things in place, it is likely that we will be joyful. Joy is not the same, in my understanding as happiness. Happiness may be transient, and dependant on factors over which we have no control, but joy, I believe is a state of mind, and one that is achieved, by a conscious decision. having said that, I do not believe that joy requires striving or effort. In the Bible, joy is a fruit of the Spirit, that is, according to Galatians 5:22-23, joy among other things, comes about by the Spirit's gifting. This would imply that only Christians can be truly joyful, and many people I know, would endorse that view, and the counter to that that without being a Christian you cannot be joyful, and many people thus will even question the salvation of a person suffering from depression. Let me state a very clearly that I absolutely do NOT agree with that premise. Depression is an illness, and Christians like anybody else can become depressed, just as they can get diabetes, or suffer heart conditions. I also want to say as clearly as I can, I do not believe that a Christian who commits suicide has lost their salvation, as I believe that the salvation effected by Christ through his death on the cross, dealt with all sin, period. To this end, therefore, pontificating about whether suicide is a sin or not is a waste of time. If it is a sin, it is a sin among the many for which Jesus paid the price..That said, suicide should not be regarded as an answer, to the problem, no matter how overwhelming that problem is. 

Happiness, may arise because we have just watched The Mrs. Doubtfire movie, which Robin was the title character and it made us laugh, or it might be that we have got out exam results and they are very good, or at least better than we expected. Joy though, whether you are a Christian or not, is something, that wells up inside.  

Being real

"Smile boys, that's the style." - well he needed a word to rhyme with smile, but there is something about this that really encapsulates what this song is about. Style - reminds me of fashion - are certain clothes/make-up/hair-dos "in style" or out of fashion? Style is about adornment, how we LOOK (to others), and many fashion styles, are crafted to hide those aspects of our being that we feel embarrassed about. Thus a person like myself, who may be regarded as chubby, is advised not to wear horizontal stripes because they accentuate the chubbiness.

So, in this song, the boys are quite literally advised to wear a smile. 

Morale, amongst soldiers, is a very important thing. And this is why modern armies do pay for entertainers to entertain the troops. Often this entertainment is more of a distraction from the heaviness of war. It is a legal high, to help the 'boys' forget, for just a while the imminent threat of the enemy, over the hill. I am not condemning this practise, just acknowledging that it exists, and trying to see it for what it is. It is, in effect, an opportunity for the soldiers to 'pack up their troubles in their old kit bag" - the problem is as the songs and the jokes fade into the background and the sound of mortar-fire rings in their ears and the sight of their wounded and dying co-combatants play themselves as a movie-clip on a loop before their eyes, that kit bag bursts at the seems. 

There is a real need to be... REAL. To see the situation for what it is. To know how one is, emotionally and to acknowledge that. If that means crying, and I don't care how masculine you are, YOU NEED TO CRY FOR AS LONG AS IT TAKES.

JESUS WEPT... Jesus was a real person with the same emotions that we all experience and he was not ashamed to express those emotions. WEEPING, some may in their mind's eye envisage a woman standing or sitting demurely, with tears running down her cheek. SOBBING - Cry noisily. It says Jesus wept - I wonder if that was translated correctly - or if it should have said "Jesus Sobbed?"

One statistic that has come out in the news, following reports of Robin Williams' Suicide, is that more women seek medical help for depression and are on the prescribed medication for depression. This does NOT mean that women suffer depression more than men, but simply that more women with depression seek help from their GP than do men. Part of the reason, I would suggest is the whole "boys don't cry" mentality that makes depression a stigmatised illness. 

There IS help for people with depression, but that help is only there if people seek it. Sometimes people can identify that they are depressed themselves, but more often than not, it takes another person to point it out. If you talk to your doctor, they should diagnose the depression and advise you of the appropriate treatment which, will likely include counselling sessions. Counselling is about talking about what it going on inside you and perhaps what has happened in the past that might be a root factor in the depression. 

There is NO SHAME in talking to someone about what hurts. It would be a SHAME if you don't want to talk about that thing, and you suffer when there may be real help just there to resolve that hurt. Also, we need to be patient - if you have an infection, and the doctor prescribes antibiotics, you are not going to see the infection disappear, and it is also important to keep at it, even when you are feeling better. If you are having counselling sessions, KEEP GOING, even when you think you are out of the woods, because, you may find that you were simply walking through a clearing in the middle of the forest, but you need to go back into the forest.

Worry

What's the use of worrying, it never was worthwhile,

Finally a line of the song I can agree with - WORRY, is a very draining activity, and definitely NOT WORTHWHILE.  But if you don't worry, and you don't stuff it into the old kit bag, what do we do with our "troubles?" - As a Christian, i would say to you, take them to God in prayer - pray about it. I would say that to the non-Christian too. You may be surprised at how that helps. I realise that my atheist friends will scoff at that, and say if there is no-one there to hear the prayer, what is the point of praying. Good question, I suggest, that there are different ways to pray. It may be that you spend time meditating, and during that meditation, you may come up with an idea that will help you resolve the problem, or give you a new perspective on the problem that will help you bear the burden of it better. if you are a song-writer, write a song about. If you are a poet, write poem. If you are an artist, you could paint a picture that may bring the issues into sharper focus. If your trouble - is money problems - maybe you can sell the picture, poem or song!

Jesus said, "Do not worry. Consider lilies of the field, they do not weave or strive and yet Solomon in all his splendour was not as beautiful as one of these." If you are a Christian, then you are called to trust God. 

There are things that simply put, we cannot do anything about. Worrying will not change this at all. So, on this I have to agree, the song is right, worrying is never worthwhile, but worrying doesn't help, what does?


Kit bag full?

That old kit bag is full. To be absolutely honest, we all have a kit bag. We all from time to time, push down that trouble and smile, even though everything on the inside is scrambled and chaotic. The reasons we do that are numerous. Just as we would take care where we put our literal kit bags, we take care about where we put down and open up that kit bag - the one with all the troubles in. We want to know that it is safe to do so. We want to ensure that the people we share what's in the kit bag are safe. That they won't embarrass us, or tell everyone what's in the bag. The sort of things we carry in that kit bag are the sorts of things that i referred to above that cause some people to think about committing suicide. Things we are ashamed of, rightly or wrongly. If I stole something, that is something that I would and should feel ashamed of, but actually the remedy is not to conceal in the hopes that I don't get caught, but I should rather own up to the theft, and repay what does not belong to me. (I am NOT confessing to having stolen anything - it was just an example). Another example is a person who, as a child was abused. That person might be carrying the memory of that abuse in that kit bag - and feeling ashamed. The thing is, in this case the person was the victim, and they do not need to be ashamed. I know that is easier said than done. Again, they need to take that memory out of the bag and share it with people who they can trust to handle the situation appropriately. 

Yesterday, as I was walking away from the job I had been doing, towards a bus in Ilford - I ha just crossed over the road by pedestrian crossing. A car whizzed passed me and a man stuck his head out of the passenger side window, looked back at me and laughed in a loud sarcastic ridiculing laugh. I do not know what this stranger found amusing about me, but I have to confess, I was startled, and upset, and it took my mind back to when I was a little boy and some older kid was laughing at me. (I didn't know what he was laughing at then either). I had the presence of mind to motion with my hand towards my head - "Are you crazy?" and he was gone as soon as he appeared.  But there it is - I could have taken that incident, and packed it away in my kit bag, and smiled as if it didn't affect me, but as I share that with you, I say that thing, and the earlier incident that it reminded me of, are OUT OF THE KIT BAG - i am not going to smile - they hurt. But I give them to Jesus, because to quote a different song, "Jesus took my burdens and he rolled them in the sea, never to remember any more." 

As a Christian, I feel I can leave my heavy load with Jesus. 
He said "Come to me, all who are heavy laden and I will give you rest."
Take my burden - that is the kit bag HE has packed for us... it is light. We may find that some of the things that were there in the old kit bag are still there, but the burden of them is lighter - and we may find, or realise that Jesus is helping us carry that old kit bag. 

So we don't have to carry the load by ourselves. And even if you are not a Christian and do not believe that Jesus will make your load lighter - we are exhorted and encouraged to carry one another's burdens, and if we share the load, we will find that the bearing of it is easier. 

So friend, find a safe place to put your kit bag down, open it up, and try and throw out the rubbish. The stuff that is still there, well maybe a friend can help you carry it for a while, and maybe you will just have to put that kit bag down every so often as you keep on plodding onwards.

Selah.



A friend of mine posted something on Facebook which I share with you here as it really does encapsulate the issue of depression.

There might be antecedents or precipitating factors, but depression is a thing in and of itself. I have suffered from clinical depression off and on for decades. I have been hospitalized for it several times. I’ve taken a number of medications for it. I have received electroshock therapy for it. Childhood experiences probably did change my brain chemistry in a way that made it more likely that I would be susceptible to depression. My ongoing PTSD and social phobia and isolation causes stress that probably doesn’t help. But these factors don’t explain why I’m okay some days, and other days I just can’t stand it anymore. Nothing has changed all that much externally from one day to the next, but what it feels like for me inside my head does change.

People will sometimes ask, “Why are you depressed?” or “What do you have to be depressed about?” This implies that there is or should be a specific reason for the change in mood, and there often isn’t one. Sometimes someone will become depressed after being diagnosed with a disease, or after getting a divorce or after losing a child. People will then say that depression in those circumstances is understandable, and of course it is. But sometimes depression can hit you when you’re not expecting it, when it’s not so easily explained. And I think we should work at discussing this issue in a way that makes it clear to those who are depressed that they don’t need a reason or an excuse.

It’s not a personal failing on the part of the person who is depressed if they don’t have some kind of sob story to tell that will immediately play on the sympathy of those who hear it. The depressed person is in a lot of pain, and the depression alone should be cause enough for concern.

Tuesday 22 July 2014

Ethiopian Eunuch

The story is well known:

Philip, an ordinary Christian is miraculously transported to the road where the African royal official of Ethiopia is riding on a chariot from Jerusalem to Gaza - presumably on his way back to Ethiopia. He is reading a scroll - the prophet Isaiah - when Philip catches up with him, and asks if he understands what he is reading. He says that he needs someone to explain to him the meaning.

The Ethiopian asks who this prophet is speaking about and Philip explains that it is Jesus and goes on to explain the Gospel. The Ethiopian, hears and readily converts, and so he asks Philip:

"See here is water. What prevents me from being baptized?"

They went down to the water, and Philip baptises the Ethiopian, and then was immediately whisked away leaving the Ethiopian to go on his way rejoicing. And there is a historical tradition that the official returned to Ethiopia to share the Gospel and Christian Church was established there.

The question he asked was very interesting: What prevents me from being baptised?

Under the Old Covenant, there was a major thing that would have prevented this person being converted and that was the fact that he was a eunuch - literally, a man who had been castrated.

Deuteronomy 23:1

This section has heading in some version of the Bible: Exclusion from the assembly

No one who has been emasculated by crushing or cutting may enter the assembly of the Lord.

So far as the Jewish Religion was concerned for this hapless royal official there was a big sign that said

NO ENTRY TO EUNUCHS

Why did God send Philip to preach to him then? Why didn't Philip refuse to baptize him, for by baptizing him, he was welcoming them in the "communion of saints", into the Christian congregation. 

God SENT Philip to the Ethiopian. 

Had God forgotten about Deuternomy 23:1?
Maybe God didn't know that the official was a eunuch?

No, God does not forget His word and He knew, as did Philip, that the man was a Eunuch. 

So, how do we account for this apparent contradiction?

God, being God could have performed a miracle and healed him so that he was no longer a eunuch.

He could have, but He didn't.

So here, right at the beginning of the Church, one significant, and massive barrier to salvation is officially swept away. I say, "officially", because, this barrier along with EVERY OTHER barrier was done away with when Jesus cried out from the Cross - "IT IS FINISHED" and the Temple curtain was torn.

Writing out this in my journal, there was this verse written at the bottom of one of the pages, "As for God, His way is perfect; the word of the Lord is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in Him." - 1 Samuel 22:31

NO ENTRY TO EUNUCHS
For God so loved the world, that He sent His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes will not perish but have eternal Life - Jesus

It is not merely incidental that this man was a eunuch and that unlike in this blog where in the beginning I made a point of referring to him as anything but "eunuch" (I was not being coy!) He is referred to almost exclusively as eunuch in the passage. Preachers tend to gloss over the fact that he was a eunuch, as if that had no bearing on the story, but I think that Luke, who wrote this account in the Book of Acts, really wanted to make a point about this fact about this man. 

Today there are many who say you cannot be a Christian and gay, lesbian, bisexual or transexual. 

I want to say that this passage, and the story in Acts 10 of the Apostle Peter going to the house of Cornelius where God shows a vision to Peter and says to him very clearly "Do not call unclean, what God has declared to be clean." I put it to you, that that which barred our way into the congregation of faith previously, will no longer impede our access to the throne of Grace.

Does a homosexual person have to repent of his homosexuality in order to be admitted to the congregation?
Was the eunuch healed? No - neither do you need to be "healed of homosexuality".

I want it to be understood - sexual orientation is not chosen, or taught, - and it is a physical aspect of our being, since whatever the "cause" of our sexual orientation, whether DNA or hormone levels - it is at a fundamental level a physical entity. 

People have been trying to heal homosexuality for many years - but they have completely failed   

Churches used to say that slavery was ordained by God, and people who were enslaved were destined to be slaves by the will of God. Although slavery, sadly still exists in this world, it is officially illegal all over the world and contravenes Article 4 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. No church would advocate slavery today.

Churches were once against interracial marriages backing laws that prohibitted people marrying "across the colour bar" - now they go to great lengths to justify interracial marriage. 

Today the issue is same sex marriage and homosexuality - and if the trend continues (which it is doing), this too will as time goes by become a non-issue. I look forward to that time when we can get back to the fundamental message of the Gospel, that God is not a respecter of persons and if you love Jesus, believe that He died for your salvation and rose again on the third day - then there is indeed nothing to prevent you from being baptised.

If you are gay, lesbian, bisexual, transexual or straight, and want to be a Christian - I want you to know that you, like the eunuch, can know joy of Jesus in your heart and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit. Please forgive those who try and tell you that you need to change. Don't listen to them - listen to your heart.

When the prophet Samuel came to Jesse's house to anoint the next king, Jesse thought it was one of his older sons and had them all lined up, but God would not let Samuel anoint any of them.God said to Samuel: "The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." 1 Samuel 16:7
He asked Jesse if there was any other son, and only then did Jesse send for David who was shepherding. God told Samuel to anoint David - the little brother. 


Rembrandt's "Baptism of the eunuch"


Wednesday 28 May 2014

Break out

I wrote this some time ago and entered it for a poetry competition. Unfortunately it did not win any prize so I have decided to put it up on my own page. Hope you like it.

Break Out

Break out of
Holy huddles in hallowed halls
harmonising humdrum hymns or hollering hallelujah
harping on about how humanity is heading to hell in a handbasket, while
hating homos, hoodies, Hindus, and other heterogenous humans,
harbouring hostility towards the homeless, however they lost their housing, in
Harringay, Hackney, Havering, Homerton, Hoxton, Highbury or Hounslow.
Holding on to historical notions about the
hierarchy in church and society if you believe in the existence of society, that is,
helping yourselves to as much as you can hold  God helps those who help themselves
heaping blame for all societal ills on the “workshy” unemployed Scroungers
and “immigrants” who came to steal our jobs.
handing out hand-outs and hand-me-downs to the “helpless handicapped”
holding placards outside hospitals,
Howling abuse about abortions
Harrumphing in haughty disgust, with mumblings about
Heresy, when someone questions, let alone, disagrees with what you say
Wholly forgetting what humility is
Hoping to have a horde of heavenly points Shining up your halo
Hypocrites!

Break out, Reach out, Touch -
Head for the high streets, houses and hangouts
Hearing, Helping and Connecting with humanity.
Handing out food to the Hungry and
Heeding God’s call to
Herald His amazing unconditional love.

Sunday 2 March 2014

HINC SPES AFFULGET - Hence Hope Shines Forth

Sitting at the back of St. Mary Aldermary Church in London last Saturday, at a meeting of Two:23 Network, my eye was drawn by one of the stained glass windows and a coat of arms that was depicted. It was the coat of arms for The Worshipful Company of Innholders and the motto that I read was HINC SPES AFFULGET meaning "Hence hope shines forth". 

The theme of the meeting was WELCOME. Innholders were also known as hostelers and hospitalers, and were at least in London the fore-runners of the hospitality industry. The strapline of the Innholders' Company is The home of hospitality since 1473.

There is therefore a link between the theme of the meeting and the Innholders Company. A key to great hospitality is to make your guest feel welcome. The industry has made an art of making people feel welcome. But is the welcome that the Industry extends genuine? The more the guest is likely to spend, the greater the welcome that is extended to them. Is this the kind of hospitality we as Christians are called to share?

What does the Bible say about hospitality?
Is the word hospitality appear in the Bible? It most certainly does. It is the translation of the Greek word, φιλοξενίαν (philoxenian) and appears twice in the NT.  It is a compound word, PHILOS (love) + XENOS (stranger). This makes hospitality more than entertaining guests well, but the exact opposite of xenophobia.

Romans 12:13
Share with the Lord's people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

Hebrews 13:2
Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it.

These are by no means the only words on the subject of hospitality, for woven throughout the Bible are verses that make it clear that we are to show hospitality.  Contrary to what is widely taught today, Sodom brought the wrath of God on itself because it was inhospitable (Ezekiel 16:49) Jesus in his teaching made many references to the need for hospitality. The parables of the Sheep and Goats, and of the Good Samaritan spring to mind. In the parable of the sheep and the goats, it was the way people treated "the least of these" that determined whether they were to be regarded as sheep to be saved or goats to be condemned, for Jesus said that their treatment of the "least of these" was their treatment of Him.

The parable of the Good Samaritan shows us that we do not have to be at home to practice hospitality. A Samaritan sets out on a journey. We are not told what the purpose of that journey but we can surmise that it was something important because he was traversing country that would have been decidedly hostile to him as a Samaritan. He was probably in a hurry as he would have probably wanted to reach his destination before nightfall. He might have heard a noise of groaning, or seen a slight movement out of the corner of his eye, or the injured man may have been lying there in plain sight, but the Samaritan notices him and immediately  has compassion for the man in his suffering,  He goes over to the man who had been attacked by robbers, and he sets his own agenda aside and starts attending to the needs of this unfortunate man. We read that two other men had seen the stricken traveller before the Samaritan came across him: men who should really have known better, a priest and a levite, men too full of their own importance to be inconvenienced by this man in great need, and they scurried on their way pretending not to notice him. After relating this rather detailed parable to the rich young ruler, in answer to his question, "Who is my neighbour?", Jesus asked the ruler who it was that was a neighbour to the man who had been attacked. Perhaps because he could not bring himself to utter the word, "Samaritan",  answered "the one who helped him."  The Samaritan showed true hospitality to the unfortunate man on the road to Jericho. He gave unstintingly with no thought of repayment.  I wonder if, when the man thanked the Samaritan, whether the Samaritan replied, "You are welcome?".

Mi casa es  su casa  - my house is your house, goes the Spanish saying. This, to my mind is the epitome of hospitality, letting someone feel at home in your home or, if you are not at home then feel comfortable in your space or presence.

What has hospitality got to do with hope? 
When a person is made genuinely welcome, they feel loved, and accepted and worthy. When a person is excluded or unwelcome, they develop a sense of worthlessness. This is a tragic state of affairs. If you are excluded from anything, or made to feel that you don't really belong, for whatever reason, you may feel hopeless. Thus, when one feels welcomed and appreciated, that sense of hope is restoed and it will indeed shine out.

I suppose the question is why would someone be unwelcome or feel unwelcome in a given circumstance. Well i alluded to one reason earlier, and that is a lack of money and an inability to pay for "services", or in the eyes of hosts, one is not worthy of their hospitality. It may not be an issue of money, but based in some prejudice that the hosts feel they are superior to this person is not welcome. Racism, prejudice against a certain religious group, or disapproval of the 'lifestyle' of the person, such as people who are LGBT, and of whom some people assume they have a certain lifestyle - this is called homophobia and it is totally unacceptable.

Revelation 3:20 

Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.

Do you want to welcome Jesus into your life? Do you want share with Jesus? Remember He said, Whatever you do the least of these my people, you do for me. Are you ready to share with that person whom you don't consider worthy. Maybe in doing so you eil be sharing with Jesus.


Monday 27 January 2014

Don't you know?

Don't you know?
Haven't you heard?
I said
"Whatever you did for the least of these, you did for me - 
whatever you did to the least of these, you did to me"

Don't you know?
Haven't you heard?
I said
"If you disown me before others, I will disown you before my Father"

Don't you know?
Haven't you heard?
I said
"Judge not, or you will be judged"

Don't you know?
Haven't you heard?
I said,
"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and soul and strength 
 and love your neighbour as you love yourself"

So you call it 'love' when you slam the door in your daughters face
Because she loves someone of a different race?
So you call it 'love' when you write you son out of your will
because he's going to marry Bill?

I tell you whatever you did to those whom you view to be the least you did to me


If you take the good gifts I gave you and throw them in the trash 
(regarding them as cheap), 
you have thrown me onto that self-same heap!

Don't you know?
Haven't you heard? 
I said,
"Love one another as I have loved you"


So you call it 'love' when you use your authority 
to shout at, denounce and shame,
The children in my name?

I command you to be quiet
Listen to my voice
Love one another and 
Rejoice, rejoice, rejoice!

If they cancelled Christmas

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