Sunday 10 December 2017

Finding God

Where do you go to, my friend, when you're alone in your head?"
What is the journey you take while you lie still on your bed?

I don't meet to travel so far,
Chasing after an elusive star!
I do not need to spend months or years,
To climb a mountain in the Himalayas

Some people, like tumbleweed,
Get blown about this way then that.
Some people, like a stagnant pond,
Stay put, slowly being suffocated
By the smothering of water-weed.

Tumbleweed trippers want the latest things
Look out for trends
Life is exciting and "on-the go"
Forget about commitment and settling down
That is boring - we have need for speed -
Then suddenly, something happens that
Stops us in our tracks
This life of haste starts to show its cracks.

The Pond ponderers, like to think things thoroughly through,
Always take a more conservative view.
Their reactions are ponderous and slow .
They hesitate and hold back,
Dare not take risks,
Make a single mistake.
Tradition, tradition, it's the only way,
Things should stay just as they are,
All this 'progress' is going too far.
The problem is we cannot have a contingency
For every eventuality
-for things outside our control.
If we don't move quickly,
We will fall into a hole.

So what IS the answer, I hear you cry?
How do we live life before we die?

To be honest, my friend, I do not know.
I think we can live it, both too fast, and too slow
All I would say, is we should do our best,
To love ourselves and each other
And trust God for the rest.

We're all on a journey of discovery,
Of what it means "to be me"
The best you can be is to try and be real,
Discover who you are and what you can do -
And make every effort to be you -
Through and through.

God is not distant and hard to reach.
God is with you, inside you and around,
The presence of God does abound
On a mountain, by a lake,
On a city street or country lane,
In a bus or on an aeroplane.
God is there, no matter who or what,
We can find God everywhere.

© J. Fairlamb 2017

Saturday 23 September 2017

Forgiving Others

Matthew 6:14-15New International Version (NIV)

14 For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. 

Forgiveness is probably the most prickly and provocative issue of faith. There are two sides to this:
The meaning of forgiveness 
Its implications and the question of who has a right to forgive and what is forgiveable.
The more the severe the offence and the greater the pain that is inflicted, be that physical, psychological or even financial pain, the harder it is to forgive, no matter what the background is. 

However the background is not irrelevant either - since the relationship that existed between the person wronged and the wrongdoer before the offence was committed, will mean that the pain is increased. Also, the attitude of the wrongdoer afterwards will often be a crucial factor in deciding whether or not to forgive.  

It is hard to make generalisations in relation to this topic because situations vary so much, but I will try and concentrate of the issue of forgiveness and not get into the intricacies of circumstances, but recognise that such intricacies are very complex.

Hearing some explanation from the person who caused the offence, can sometimes help to diminish the pain caused, if for instance, the person explains that the action was accidental and they had not intended to hurt the other person, or it may only serve to inflame the situation because, the person may be perceived as "making excuses" or blame shifting.

But how do we as Christians respond to this unequivocal call by Jesus to forgive those who wrong us? Because it is hard to look at and deal with this issue in the abstract, it may help for you to think of an occasion when you were wronged by someone. I am going to put a few questions to you, which you can reflect on.  There are no right or wrong answers. it might help for you to write down your answers. This is not supposed to be a navel gazing exercise, and I encourage you to try and restrict yourself to reflect only on one incident, rather than on any time you have ever been unfairly treated. At the end I will share a suggested prayer, to help you navigate this path of forgiveness. 
1. What happened? Who was involved? Was a law broken, and if so, did the person face prosecution? What was the outcome of that prosecution? 
2. In what ways did what happened hurt you, cause you pain? (This may sound like a redundant question, but i think it is useful to consciously state what that hurt was.) When you are experiencing physical pain, and you see a doctor, the doctor will ask you to describe the pain - where does it hurt? What kind of pain? (burning, stinging, heaviness?)
3. Now, as you think back on that incident, what is your emotion? Do you still feel anger when you think about what happened? (Anger in and of itself is not wrong or sinful, but it can often cause us to act sinfully). 
4. At the time, you became aware, how did you react? Especially how did you behave towards the person you held responsible for the issue? How do you feel about  that reaction now?
5. Do you want to forgive this person? 
5a. If you do, how has that gone for you. When you reflect on what you answered to questions 1 to 4, do you feel that you have forgiven this person.
5b. If you don't want to forgive the person or you feel such that you can't forgive the person, what is it that makes you feel that way? 

FORGIVENESS has to happen internally and be an act of the will (You have to decide to forgive someone because you believe that is the right thing to do) or it will not be forgiveness. Just SAYING you forgive the person does not make it happen. 

 Forgiveness is a journey, and it can be a very rough road, especially if the thing that needs to be forgiven is a long established pain.  I believe that we need God's help to reach that point, and so I am sharing with you a suggested prayer.

Dear Lord,

You are the God who forgives my sins but you also want me to forgive others when they do wrong to me. 

I am struggling with this situation. I am still [upset/angry] with [name] about [explain the situation]. 

When I think about this person I feel...

I know I should forgive this person but I don't want to because...

Lord I surrender that situation to you. 

Please heal my pain? 
I receive your healing. 
I give you my resentment of ...

Lord, you said you give us a peace that the world cannot give. I receive that peace. 

Lord, with your. help, I can forgive ... . I seek your help.  I ask you to me find in my heart, Love for that person, and bless them every time I think about them. 

In the name of Christ who forgives us,

Amen..

Sunday 13 August 2017

Prayer of Lament



My last blog was about Lament and Rejoicing. I spoke about the mournful memories of past and the reflection on tragedies and injustices whilst as Christians, we remember that there is a "city on the hill" and we have hope.

In that Blog I was reflecting on the Jewish commemoration known as Tisha b'Av - remembering the destructions of the Temples in Jerusalem, both Solomon's Temple destroyed by the Assyrians and the Second Temple destroyed by the Romans.

I also reflected on the commemoration of one of the most hideous battles of the First World War, that took place a century ago - the Battle of Paschendaele - where a quarter of a million lives were lost. Yes ultimately the Germans surrendered and the Allied forces one, but it was an horrendous war and that was a particularly horrendous battle.

I also reflected on the passing of the 1967 Sexual Offences Act that partially decriminalised homosexual activity - a good thing - but also a marker that things were not good and that LGBT people faced terrible injustice both before and after the passing of that Act into law. The law made it safer but not entirely safe for LGBT people, and the commemoration was also a reminder that while here in the UK LGBT people experience freedoms and rights, our forebears would not have dared to imagine, that the same cannot be said of every country. There are still far too many countries where LGBT people are imprisoned and even executed for being who they are. So while recognise and celebrate the progress, we also lament that these are not freedoms enjoyed by all.

But we do not need to look at history for cause to lament - current affairs give us much to grieve about - and I think of the many terrorist and violent actions that take place. Charlotteville is much in the news as it should be - a heinous act carried out by "White Supremacists"  (I use the quotes as I cannot see anything even good, let alone supreme in what these people believe). I am disgusted that the President could not bring himself to lay the blame where it belongs. But we also lament the violence that has recently taken place in Kenya, and the ongoing violence of knife and gun crime (and now we add the effects of corrosive liquids such as acids), that may have no particular ideological motivation (except perhaps the territorialism of street gangs), but is none the less devastating to the families that are affected.

"How long, oh God will you keep silence?" and then almost by way of answer, "How long will we fail to be your voice?"

Lament - the tears -are expected - let them flow like a river, but let it not only be tears -let us stand up. The young woman who was sadly killed by the car said in her final message on social media - "If you are not outraged, you are not paying attention." Oh Lord, we are outraged.

Fascism was not destroyed as it should have been by the defeat of the Axis Powers in 1945. It persists and its proponents in every part of the world are getting more vocal and strident.

The only anti-dote and defuser of fascist hate - is deliberate love and solidarity with those who are targeted.

With God's help - YES WE CAN.

Sunday 30 July 2017

Lament and Rejoicing.

Philippians 4:4 clearly is a command to Rejoice - Always. How is that humanly possible - especially when faced with the terrible things that happen that can only be described as tragic. How does the believer marry these two seemingly polar opposite responses to what life throws at us.

There is in the Bible the Hebrew book of Lamentations - which is read during the fast day of Tisha b'Av (9th of Av [Hebrew Month]) It is a period of Mourning for observant Jews, when they mourn the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem. On Tisha b'Av (Wednesday 2nd August 2017) It begins at sunset of the previous evening, when we gather in the synagogue to read the Book of Lamentations. Besides fasting, we abstain from additional pleasures: washing, applying lotions or creams, wearing leather shoes, and marital relations. Until midday, we sit on the floor or on low stools.

We also know that Jews commemorate the terrible evil of the 20th Century - the Holocaust. This is also an annual looking back and feeling the pain of a nation and a people who were deeply wounded - by the incarceration and genocide of Jewish people, and other groups too (including disabled and homosexual men), in Nazi concentration camps. 

So year in and year out, Jewish people look back and reflect on and feel the pain of these awful tragedies and injustices perpetrated against their nation. But even they acknowledge that it is not all solemn misery, even in the midst of these solemn occasion, they leave scope and permission for joy. There are certain Mitvahs which require the consumption of wine, which cannot be put off. One of those is a brit (circumcision of an eight day old son) 


Consumption of meat and wine is permitted on Shabbat, or at a seudat mitzvah (obligatory festive meal celebrating the fulfillment of certain mitzvot) such as a brit(circumcision), or a siyum celebrating the completion of a course of Torah study (i.e., a complete Talmudic tractate). The Lubavitcher Rebbe, of righteous memory initiated the custom of conducting or participating in a siyum on each of the Nine Days (even if one does not avail oneself of the dispensation to eat meat).
Chabad Teaching about Tishab'Av - From Tragedy to Joy This link has a long video teaching of a Rabbi - 
The almonds that were bitter have become sweet.  Interpreting Jeremiah's vision in Jeremiah 1.  When writing about hard memories whether on a very personal level or on a wider scale such as these commemorations, you don't want to make light of things, as if you are not taking it seriously, but that said, I think most religious philosophies I have come across, have a view of things will ultimately be sorted out and better things will come. That is the hope of Christians, with the Secoming of the Christ.
The Rebbe said that they should participate in a siyum each of the nine days - so during the deepest time mourning during the three weeks - there was a celebration. 
As Christians, we view joy not as merely an emotion, but as fruit of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22) and we are called to rejoice - that is celebrate - because our lives are in Christ. We have this hope, But notwithstanding our cause for hope and rejoicing, we should recognise that we still experience the pain of injustice and tragedy, and it is entirely appropriate to mourn the pain, the loss and the tragedies. 
How do we, as Christians, or as people, respons when tragedy hits and as we remember these tragedies. 
Today, there is a commemoration of one of the heaviest battles of the First World War, Passchendaele (in Belguim) The battle took place 100 years ago - it started on 31 July  and concluded on November 10th and there were very many killed in that bloody battle. From what I read, the battle is not got many redeeming features. Lloyd George described Passchendaele as "one of the greatest disasters of the war. 
So why do we keep on talking about it - surely we should laccentuate the positives - let's talk about the vitories and not think about the defeats. Let's use broad brush strokes when comes to the less happy news - and be upbeat - why do we "commemorate" our losses when, after everything is said and done, the victory was ours (speaking from the perspective of the British of course) . 
I think these commemorations are extremely important for many reasons, but one big reason, is it honours lives and the sacrifice of those who went to war to defend their shores. This is not endorsing or agreeing with the war, but once war is declared, people need to defend, and in so doing, people lay their lives on the line and many did during that 102 day battle. Their fight, brought about our freedoms - is it possible that we could have our freedoms, had there been no war to fight - its hard to say. So I think times of reflection about the injustice and tragedy of war are important as well the times when we celebrate the victories. 
Another thing we are commemorating and remembering is the 50th anniversary of the passing of the Secual Offences Act - that partially decriminalised homosexual acts betwwen adult men in England and Wales. It was far from adequate in and of itself and did not put an end to homophobia, but it was the beginning of a long process that still has some way to go, if looked at on a global scale. It reminds us that gay men were persecuted by State and Society. 
In recognition of this, I attended an excellent service at St Martin's in the Field in Central London. It was an ecumenical service that was addressed by the Dean of St. Paul's Cathedral, Revs Canon Mark Oakley. The title of the service was Where Love and Sorrow meet. 
Revd Sally Hitchener towards the end of the service, made the observaion that many young LGBT people take for granted the freedoms that they experience today to be themselves and perhaps don't consider the pain and persecution experienced by previous generations who fought the battles, and bore the scars, both litteral and emotional of those battles that ultimately culminated in the freedoms that these young people take for granted. It is an irony, she said that the right to be yourself as an LGBT person (although this can extend to many other categories of people), was only accomplished because someone fought against the injustice of that right not existing. And she admitted she sometimes wanted to make the young people understand about every blow and insult that previous endured along the way to the freedom that we experience today. 
I think there is definitely scope for the commemoration of this act, not because it in itself solved the problem, but it represented a significant change in direction. It is also, an opportunity to educate people about how things once were. I think, that if we are better informed about history, and not an airbrushed history (for fear of upsetting children) but an honest recounting of how things once were, will make people more appreciative of their present freedoms. 
It is not so we can wallow in misery about bad things that happened a long time ago, but a remembering that things have not always been as they are now, and that we should be aware that things have not always been like this. 
Like Jews do during the three weeks that lead up to Tisha b'Av, we can solemnly remember the injustices inflicted on people and mourn them, but we can also remember that hope gives us reason to look forward to a time when all injustice will cease, and God will be in complete control. he can therefore be hopeful, but we can also try and remember, that in the midst of the sad memories, we are connected to a just and merciful God whose mercies are new every morning - in other words - God's love and mercy for us is constant - not variable and conditional as many people seem to think. 
I would like to conclude with a stanza from the opening the opening hymn at the service at St martin's in the Field - it wass written by Frederick William Faber and the first line is "There's a wideness in God's Mercy" 
For the love of God is broader than the measures of man's mind;
and the heart of the Eternal is most wonderfully kind.
But we make His love too narrow by false limits of our own
and magnify His strictness with a zeal He will not own. 

There is plentiful redemption in the blood that has been shed
There is Joy for all the members in the Sorrows of the head
There is grace enough for thousands of new worlds as great as this
There is room for fresh creations in that upper home of bliss.


Thursday 15 June 2017

Boundary Marker

Wednesday evening and time for Vespers at St Mary's. However this was different. Along with the usual, wonderful calming tunes that permeate the environment, and the sound of the bells and the ringers practice their changes, this Wednesday had a visual component, the work of two local artists. Christine had an installation that explored the link between clothing and boundaries. It was the words "boundaries, real or imagined" that caught my imagination. I thought about the many boundaries that exist. Particularly our imagined boundaries. Or maybe not imagined, maybe they really do exist, in our own minds. 


Boundary Marker

Where is your boundary marker?
What is your boundary marker? 
A row of pebbles, or a painted line in the street? 
A fence topped with barbed wire, 
A brick wall with broken glass, set in concrete?

Is there an entry or an exit, or is it entirely enclosed?
Is it it a sanctuary, a place of safety and solace,
Or are you serving a sentence, self-imposed- 
Of solitary confinement - shutting society out?

Do you stay within your gate, 
Or do you sometimes venture out,
To encounter and discover
What lies around about?

Are you, perhaps, in permanent exile - 
detached and disconnected - from yourself?
Locked out and excluded - 
Like a leper - unwanted - on the shelf?

We all need our own space,
That special place
To be free - To be "me". 

We also need connection
To touch, to talk, and be listened to
To love and to be loved too!

Friday 2 June 2017

Yesod - Connection/Belonging

Connection

Counting the Omer, usually it goes from Passover to Tabernacles, but I have decided to "Count the Omer" from Easter to Pentecost. 

Well,we reached the end of the second last week yesterday and the focus for last week was:
Yesod (יְס֖וֹד)
which is translated as "Foundation" which is the attribute assigned to God. The emotional quality in humans linked to Yesod is "Connection" 

What follows is my thoughts on Connection:

I saw a Tweet which asked the question, 'Is loneliness a cause of mental illness. 94% of the approximate 700 respondents said it was. 

Loneliness is not simply the lack of company. If it were there would be a simple and straightforward solution - find company. Put all the lonely people in a room together and they wouldn't be lonely any more.? Company can relieve the pain of loneliness for a while, but it is not a lasting or permanent solution. 

I believe that at the core of loneliness is the loss of connection. The feeling that "I don't fit in", that "I am not wanted." (whether that feeling is based in reality of actually not being wanted, or entirely imagined -  it is still real to the person experiencing it), feeling or being physically or emotionally shut out, unwelcome, and unaccepted. In short "I feel like I do not belong."

A sense of belonging is a BASIC HUMAN NEED

So everyone wants to be part of something. That something might vary culture to culture, person to person, but sadly the desire to belong is not enough, it is necessary for the group to be willing to accept, welcome and incorporate the person hoping to belong. 

The basic social grouping is the family unit - parents, possibly siblings, grandparents, possibly wider family. The family should be a group in which love and acceptance is unconditional. Sadly, this is not always the case and people do face rejection by even close family members. There are many supposed reasons, or possibly excuses for someone to reject a family member. It might be that the family member has chosen to join a religion which the family hates. Or they might support a political party or cause which the family does not understand or accept. It might that they choose a partner who the family does not accept. 

This occurs a lot for young people of the LGBTQI+ community whose family cannot aspect of their lives.  

Failure to give a child that love and acceptance that they need and deserve is a crime - it may be neglect or it might be emotional abuse.  

However the family is only one group which people might choose to associate with and there are very many groups that  we might belong to. 

One major association for many is the religion they belong to.  Again, you would think that a religious organisations  would welcome all those who want to belong, but the truth is many religions and sub-religious groups want people to belong on their turns and will not tolerate the slightest diversity or independence of thought. And will reject people who do not conform to their prescribed rules and rejection. 

Sadly, as a Christian, the Church has been complicit in many rejections of people to did not conform to their "standards" = yes they perceive them as "standards" but  in fact thery just an excuse for discrimination, and that is not acceptable, and I do not believe it is in line with the message of love and acceptabce that is the Gospel of Jesus Christ. 


When we read the Gospel texts carefully, we see that the only people Jesus seems to “exclude” are those who exclude others. Exclusion might be described as the core sin. Don’t waste any time rejecting, excluding, eliminating, or punishing anyone or anything else. Everything belongs, including you. 

Richard Rohr 

If loneliness is eating you up - look for the connection - there IS one - that;s how we have been made - look for the connection. Reach out to a family member, a religious group, or a friend - you do not need to do it on your own. 

Friday 24 February 2017

Flies in the face

It flies in the face
Of the Gospel of Grace
To turn to your neighbour and say
If you're not straight,
Trad-married or celibate
Then Jesus won't have you today.

Take the Good News to every creature
That is what Jesus told us to do,
So that they may know God, trust God
And be God's child too.

God, by the Spirit  leads the way
And as God's disciples, we follow.
We know that the journey through life can be slow
We are not perfect; we stumble and over we go
Over and over again.
But God  loves us so much he  helps us to keep going on.

Jesus is gentle,  Jesus is kind;
When we take our  time to rise up
And dust ourselves down
He does not mind.
Jesus always helps us to our feet
Dabs our eyes dry and
Leads us by the hand.

Why do we make a fuss
When others who follow are not like us?
Why do you insist
That everyone subscribe to your list
Of don'ts or dos,  of this or that?
It's salvation but with a caveat.

Our pattern-maker is Jesus Christ
Who came to give us eternal life.
Let us then as much as we can -
Live in peace with our fellow woman and man.
Loving,  as we are commanded to, one another;
Our  neighbour, our sister and our brother.

✏ J. Fairlamb

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